Sitcoms that influenced us and our parenting

For more comedy, watch CNN Films’ “Love, Gilda,” which explores the dramatic story of legendary comedian Gilda Radner, Tuesday, January 1 at 9 p.m. ET.

Ask anyone who grew up in the 1970s, ’80s and ‘90s about their favorite sitcoms and they probably won’t miss a beat, answering quickly and with tremendous passion about shows that influenced them in countless ways.

For comedian Judy Gold, it was “Rhoda,” the 1970s spinoff from the smash hit “Mary Tyler Moore Show.”

“For every Jewish girl, I think it was ‘Rhoda,’ ” said Gold, who wrote and starred in the critically acclaimed one-woman off-Broadway show “The Judy Show: My Life as a Sitcom.” “To see this sitcom where this Midwestern All-American woman’s best friend is some Jew from New York, it was like, ‘Wow, I’m represented.’ “

Amanda Rodriguez, an African-American mother of three, remembers watching “The Cosby Show” with her family and wanting to grow up to be just like the Cosbys.

“I went to college and majored in criminology because I thought I was going to be a lawyer. ‘Oh, I’m going to be a lawyer like the Cosby mom, and I’m also going to have kids, and I’m going to have this big family and have it all,’ ” said Rodriguez, founder of the blog Dude Mom. “They were the ‘have it all’ family.”

Comedian Chris Rock speaks onstage during An Evening of Music, Art, Mischief and Performance to benefit Raising Malawi presented by Madonna at Faena Forum on December 2, 2016 in Miami Beach, Florida. (Photo by Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Bulgari)

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For Lori Day, “All in the Family” helped her get her “head straight” about what her values were going to be as she grew up with conservative parents and grandparents in the South.

“I was able to notice the way Archie and Edith reminded me a little bit about my own parents and a lot about my grandparents, and it helped me basically see the sexist dynamic for what it was,” said Day, an educational psychologist who runs her own consulting business. “It was like, ‘Wow, a kid in a family can kind of speak up for herself and speak back to her father.’ “

And for Brian Gresko, a writer and father of a 7-year-old boy, “Webster,” a sitcom about a young boy who was adopted, would come to mean much more to him than just being one of his favorite television shows.

When Gresko was about 7 or 8, his parents used the show as a way to break the news to him that he too was adopted, that the man he called “Dad” was actually not his biological father.

George Carlin, 1975

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One night after an episode of “Webster” ended, Gresko said, his parents told him that just as Webster’s adopted parents loved him like their son, his dad loved him like a son. “Paternal love isn’t dependent on biology,” they told him.

“It was interesting that ‘Webster’ was the thing that they could grab onto because they knew they should tell me,” said Gresko, editor of the anthology “When I First Held You: 22 Critically Acclaimed Writers Talk about the Triumphs, Challenges, and Transformative Experience of Fatherhood.”

“They weren’t sure how to do it, so ‘Webster’ really kind of became that metaphor that they could look to. They thought, ‘He knows the story, and we know the story, so we can talk about the characters from the story to explain what’s happening,’ ” he said.

‘Oh, I know someone like that!’

As Gresko’s story demonstrates, there is a tremendous power in seeing characters on sitcoms who mirror us or people in our lives.

“These characters were created so that people knew people like that and were invested in them” and would think, ” ‘Oh, I know someone like that,’ ‘Oh I identify with this part of that person,’ ” said Gold, a standup comic, writer and author, and host of the “Kill Me Now” podcast.

Shows such as “The Jeffersons,” which aired from 1975 to 1985 and was one of the first programs to focus on an African-American family, were groundbreaking, said Michelle Ciulla Lipkin, executive director of the National Association for Media Literacy Education, a free membership organization devoted to recognizing media literacy as a critical 21st-century skill.

“Those shows were so important because it was like, ‘Oh, I’m finally seeing someone that looks like me on TV in a way that’s positive, not in a way that’s nonfiction and newsy.’ “

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Popular sitcoms such as “The Brady Bunch” showed a stepdad and stepmom trying to parent, while “Roseanne” was one of the first to showcase a blue-collar family, said Ciulla Lipkin.

“I don’t think there’s anyone who grew up, certainly in the ’70s, ‘80s and ‘90s, who wasn’t influenced by seeing family life on television,” she said.

Some of it was aspirational, like, “Wow, I wish I was in that family,” or in the case of the Bundys of “Married with Children,” it was, “Oh, my gosh, I have it so much better than them,” said Ciulla Lipkin, a mom of two.

“If you look at the history of sitcoms, family is constant throughout, and you can start to see how from the Bradys and the blended family to ‘All in the Family’ with the Bunkers … they were addressing really serious things in the frame of the sitcom,” she said.

Television is “such a powerful tool,” added Gold, who is also a mom of two. “It’s a situation comedy, but we can still deal with subversive issues and make them funny.”

There are the good, All-American moms. "The Brady Bunch's" Carol Brady -- played by Florence Henderson -- always knew the right thing to say and had the warm hug to give. Her daughters -- Jan (Eve Plumb, left), Marcia (Maureen McCormick, center) and Cindy (Susan Olsen) -- looked up to her.

Not all moms are as perfect as June Cleaver (Barbara Billingsley, here with Jerry Mathers as the Beaver), but she's a tough act to follow, whether you're a TV mom or a parent in real life. But then there are the moms who appear less than loving...

"Downton Abbey" would be much less entertaining without the cutting Dowager Countess, played by Maggie Smith. There's love in her heart -- she did raise Robert and Rosamund (with the help of servants, of course) -- but her mouth says things such as, "I will applaud your discretion when you leave."

Betty Draper -- later Betty Francis (January Jones, here with Marten Holden Weiner) -- tries to be a polished, grown-up mother on "Mad Men," but the years have shown that her glamorous sheen hides a brittle interior.

Lucille Bluth (Jessica Walter) doesn't even try to hide her brittleness. The "Arrested Development" matriarch abuses underlings -- that would be almost everybody -- and has been known to enjoy a drink. Or several.

And Estelle Costanza (Estelle Harris)? She was a perpetual thorn in the side of her son, George (Jason Alexander), on "Seinfeld." However, on at least one occasion, he was master of his domain.

Other mothers have their complexities. Carmela Soprano (Edie Falco) cared about her children and loved her husband Tony, but she tried to turn a blind eye to his business (which wasn't really waste management) and was known to consider straying.

Lorelai Gilmore (Lauren Graham, left) may have been mother to Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel), but she wasn't always the adult on "Gilmore Girls." Since she gave birth to Rory when she was 16, she had a lot of growing up to do.

On "Roseanne," Roseanne Barr (left, with Sara Gilbert) could be brash and sarcastic, but she was good with her children -- often while being brash and sarcastic.

Alicia Florrick (Julianna Margulies, right, with Makenzie Vega as daughter Grace) on "The Good Wife" has been through a lot: her husband's infidelity, challenges at her law firm, up-and-down relationships. She can be mercurial, but as a mother, she's steadfast and protective.

"Weeds' " Nancy Botwin (Mary-Louise Parker, here with Alexander Gould) bent a few rules to maintain the comfortable lifestyle of herself and her kids. Like selling marijuana and trying to stay out of jail. Hey, it was a living.

Peggy Bundy of "Married ... With Children" (Katey Sagal, second from right) was blowzy and materialistic, but she would stand with her family when threatened. Son Bud (David Faustino), husband Al (Ed O'Neill) and daughter Kelly (Christina Applegate) were usually firmly behind her.

"Modern Family's" Claire Dunphy (Julie Bowen) and Gloria Pritchett (Sofia Vergara) are more lovable. The pair don't always see eye to eye, especially since Gloria is married to Claire's father, but they always put their families first.

"One Day at a Time" featured a divorced single mother, a rarity on television in the 1970s. Ann Romano (Bonnie Franklin, center) handled two daughters (played by Mackenzie Phillips, left, and Valerie Bertinelli, right), their mixed-up lives (including husbands Michael Lembeck and Boyd Gaines) and a wacky super played by Pat Harrington.

Dr. Beverly Crusher (Gates McFadden, right) had the mixed blessing of being a mother on the starship Enterprise in "Star Trek: The Next Generation." It could be hard taking care of the crew -- and a son, Wesley, played by Wil Wheaton. Of course, the precocious Wesley Crusher always saved the day.

A mother that was also the literal leader of the band? That was the case on "The Partridge Family" in which Shirley Partridge (Shirley Jones, left) sang with her children and drove the bus. Sure, maybe Keith (David Cassidy, second from left) sang lead, but we know who was really in charge.

"Good Times' " Florida Evans (Esther Rolle, third from left) provided a lot of love and discipline to her children, Michael, J.J. and Thelma (Ralph Carter, left, Jimmie Walker and BernNadette Stanis).

In "Family Ties," Elyse Keaton (Meredith Baxter, second from left) juggled life as an architect with a mother's sturdy guidance for her children (from left, Justine Bateman, Brian Bonsall, Tina Yothers and Michael J. Fox). Husband Steven (Michael Gross, far left) was an equal partner.

"The Cosby Show's" Clair Huxtable (Phylicia Rashad, right, with Keshia Knight Pulliam) could keep her doctor husband, played by Bill Cosby, on his toes, and was a successful lawyer and mother to boot.

Maybe Marge Simpson isn't as perfect as Clair Huxtable. Maybe her children can be difficult and her hair barely fits in the car. The loving wife of Homer and mother of Maggie, Lisa and Bart is the heart of the Simpson clan, the one to lead the way when things go awry. Which they often do.

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‘Everyone knew an Archie Bunker’

Racism, sexism, homophobia – those are just a few of the controversial issues that “All in the Family” tackled with humor.

“Everyone knew an Archie Bunker,” Gold said. “Everyone knew his (son-in-law) Meathead. Everyone knew the beautiful wife who kept her mouth shut until she didn’t … and when she finally opened her mouth, it was beyond profound.”

Day, the educational psychologist who also has a 25-year-old daughter,remembers the show as being unlike anything she had seen before – and unlike anything her parents had seen, either.

She was most taken by how Bunker’s daughter, Gloria, and her husband, Michael, whom Bunker nicknamed “Meathead,” clashed politically with Bunker.

“It was like, ‘Oh, so that’s what it is. It’s this sort of more liberal, progressive view on the world coming into tension with conservative parents,’ and that’s what I had,” Day said. “And I got to see that in a show because I grew up in Georgia … and people were very openly bigoted.”

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The show has definitely affected her parenting, she said. Although her parents are offended that she holds dramatically different political views, Day doesn’t feel that her daughter has to generationally respect her when it comes to politics. And she doesn’t. Day calls herself a “Hillary Democrat”; her daughter, Charlotte, leans much more to the left.

“Unlike on ‘All in the Family,’ when my daughter has her own liberal views, I’m proud of her,” said Day, who is also author of “Her Next Chapter,” a book about mother-daughter book clubs. “Archie was never going to respect (Gloria). He called her husband ‘Meathead.’ He had no respect for their views at all, and that was pretty much the dynamic in my family, and so I’ve intentionally parented my daughter quite differently.”

Gresko, the writer, said that when he became a dad, he started watching “Louie,” the show starring Louis C.K. that spent a lot of time on the comedy of parenting.

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE -- Episode 22 -- Pictured: (l-r) Amy Poehler, Seth Meyers during the "Weekend Update" skit on May 16, 2009 (

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The show was kind of “radical” because it starred a single dad who was also competent, said Gresko, who also teaches creative nonfiction and is working on his first novel. “I think a lot of times in the sitcoms, the dads would be bumbling or would need help, like ‘Two and a Half Men,’ (where) you have to have two dads to do the job of one mom. ‘Louie,’ even though he struggles, he’s never incompetent.”

Watching Louie be devoted to his kids but still have a life beyond his children and share how not every day of parenting is the most amazing moment of a person’s life really hit home with him, said Gresko.

Louie clearly showed the stresses and that balance of being a parent who sometimes gets frustrated and annoyed at their child but who also doesn’t want to scream at their kids to complain, he said. “He really illustrates that so wonderfully.”

How sitcoms have changed

Football coach Eric Taylor (Kyle Chandler) was a father figure not only to his daughter, but his players, in the NBC series "Friday Night Lights," helping them navigate life in -- and out of -- their football-mad Texas town.

Our favorite TV dads —

James Avery, who died at 68 on December 31, 2013, portrayed one of the most beloved fictional dads on TV as Philip Banks in the 1990s comedy "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air." With his combination of heart, humor and awesome sweater collections, Avery's Uncle Phil is one of our favorite TV dads.

He didn't let D.J. go to school wearing a crop top, or skip class to get Stacey Q's autograph, but he was a pretty rad dad. On the 1980s and '90s series "Full House" -- and more recently on Netflix's "Fuller House" -- this single father (Bob Saget) and morning talk show host taught the value of spring-cleaning, along with life lessons such as, "Don't back a concrete mixer into the kitchen." Just don't move the baking soda in his sock drawer. He'll notice.

Long held as the prototype for the "perfect dad," Ward Cleaver (played by Hugh Beaumont) has resonated with families for decades. On the 1950s-'60s series "Leave It to Beaver," he was the paradigm of sage advice and discipline for Wally and Beaver. Not to mention, he was a whiz on the barbecue. A stiff white collar has never looked so good ... or paternal.

In "black-ish," Dre Johnson Sr. (Anthony Anderson) and his wife try to ingrain a sense of cultural identity in their four kids, along with the help of his own dad, played by Laurence Fishburne. Since it premiered in 2014, it has dealt with intense topics, like when the Johnson family gathered for a night of tough TV and tougher discussions, waiting to see whether a police officer would face charges for the assault of a black man.

It's hard to honor just one dad from the hit ABC show "Modern Family," but Cam's (Eric Stonestreet) never-ending devotion to adopted daughter, Lily, has landed him on our list. He won us over when he carried out "every father's dream" by building Lily a princess castle. It's hard to get sick of his pastel button-down shirts and charming insecurities. Cam put it best when he said, "I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy, and I dare you not to like me."

This blue-collar dad (played by Mike O'Malley) tore audiences' hearts out (in the best possible way) when his son, Kurt, came out to him during the first season of "Glee," which aired on Fox from 2009 to 2015. The single dad put his football dreams for Kurt aside, saying, "If this is who you are, I love you just as much."

There aren't many men who could handle six children, a wife, a dog and a career as an architect, all while wearing tight plaid pants. Mike Brady (Robert Reed) took everything in stride on the 1960s-'70s series "The Brady Bunch." From camping in the Grand Canyon to grappling with a curse in Hawaii, Mike endured the occasional headache while remaining hopelessly devoted to Carol.

Charles 'Pa' Ingalls, 'Little House on the Prairie' —

Michael Landon as Charles "Pa" Ingalls on the 1970s-'80s series "Little House on the Prairie" made many of us wish we lived on the frontier. He was just the greatest.

Homer Simpson, 'The Simpsons' —

How can you not love Homer Simpson as much as he loves donuts? While not the sharpest knife in the drawer, "The Simpsons" character definitely loves his wife and kids. Homer made his debut when the animated comedy first aired in December 1989.

Gruff yet lovable, Jack (played by Dan Lauria) worked through the daily grind of middle management on the 1980s-'90s series "The Wonder Years." He later taught his son Kevin the value of entrepreneurship when he opened a furniture business. There was something comforting about Jack's straight-shooting style and inner softie.

In NBC's "This is Us," Jack and Rebecca Pearson (Milo Ventimiglia and Mandy Moore) play a young couple that builds a unique brood after one of their triplets dies during birth. One scene in the sob-inducing show featured Jack and Randall at a dojo, where the instructor had Jack do push-ups with his son on his back -- and refusing to stop.

Our favorite TV dads

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As great as “Louie” is, it’s not a show that the entire family could sit around and enjoy, and that’s a big difference from the sitcoms of the ’70s, ‘80s and ‘90s and the ones on television today.

“There are a lot of shows that I watch with my 15-year-old, but there aren’t a lot of shows that I watch with my 15-year-old and my 9-year-old and my 12-year-old,” said Rodriguez, the mom and blogger. “They don’t overlap as often. There are not a lot of times when you just sit down and watch TV as a family.”

What’s also changed is that everyone is no longer watching the same shows.

Coneheads (1993) directed by Steve Barron shown: Chris Farley

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“I feel like every family, no matter your racial background, spent some time engaging with the Cosbys. … Everybody liked Bill Cosby back then,” Rodriguez said. “He was this fun dad. He was the quintessential father that everybody wanted their dad to be like, the guy who gives their kids cake in the morning.”

“We didn’t have 400 channels,” added Gold, the comedian. “We all had to watch together at that one time, so that was the zeitgeist. ‘Did you see what happened on ‘All in the Family?’ “

There’s no watercooler conversation around one show anymore, Gold said. “The watercooler is now CNN, MSNBC and Fox News.”

The television sitcom has definitely come a long way and has pushed boundaries, opening up a whole new world to American audiences.

“Will & Grace,” a popular sitcom about a gay lawyer (Will) and his interior designer best friend (Grace), is credited with helping push the country to accept gay rights and same-sex marriage.

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“What ‘Will & Grace’ did for the LGBT community is beyond,” Gold said.

Current shows such as “Black-ish,” about an African-American family; “Fresh Off the Boat,” about an Asian-American family; and “Speechless,” about a boy with special needs, are examples of the kind of diversity in programming that can entertain but also educate, said Ciulla Lipkin, of the National Center for Media Literacy Education.

But as far as sitcoms have come, there is still a “long way to go” in terms of showing the actual diversity that exists in the country and moving past stereotypes, she said. The costs of a lack of diversity are enormous, she added.

“If you simply look at just what is happening in the Muslim community right now, is that for the great majority of Americans, they don’t have a close relationship with someone who’s Muslim, so all they see is what they see in the media, and unfortunately, what we see in the media is either the news, which portrays them in an incredibly negative light, or they’re being portrayed that way in television shows,” Ciulla Lipkin said.

“We need to start seeing representations of all kinds of people on TV, even in comedy. The impact of a character on a sitcom with a hijab could be one small but effective step towards getting Muslims to be seen in a different light,” she said. “We need to open people’s eyes and we have to be willing to push boundaries to do that. “

What sitcoms influenced you and/or your parenting? Share your thoughts with Kelly Wallace on Twitter @kellywallacetv.